This fashion show actually took place  in Pavillion KL!

image001

*Two men met while both where looking for their lost wives.
1st: How yours look like?
2nd: She is 5″7, 36-24-36, Fair, Black eyes. What about yours?
1st: Forget mine. Lets find yours!!

image002

Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed.
He shoots his friend to death.
Wife says, “If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends”.

image003

What is the definition of Mistress?
Someone between the Mister and Mattress

image005

Husband asks , “Do u know the meaning of WIFE??
“Without Information Fighting Everytime”
Wife replies,” No, It means ,
“With Idiot For Ever !!!”

image009

Three Feelings:
What’s the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant,
Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant, and
Panic is when both are pregnant.

image014

Sons asks difference between confidence and confidential
Dad says, you are my son, i’m confident. Your friend is also my son,
that’s confidential!*

image017

Small Boy wrote to Santa Claus,” send me a brother”
Santa wrote back,” SEND ME YOUR MOTHER”

ENJOY!

 

Which equation are you?

*Equation 1*

Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy
Donkey = eat + sleep

Therefore,
Human = Donkey + work + enjoy

Therefore,
Human – enjoy = Donkey + work

In other words,
Human that don’t know how to enjoy = Donkey that work



*Equation 2*

Men = eat + sleep + earn money
Donkeys = eat + sleep

Therefore,
Men = Donkeys + earn money

Therefore,
Men – earn money = Donkeys

In other words,
Men that don’t earn money = Donkeys


*Equation 3*

Women = eat + sleep + spend
Donkeys = eat + sleep

Therefore,
Women = Donkeys + spend

Therefore,
Women – spend = Donkeys

In other words,
Women that don’t spend = Donkeys
============ ========= ========= ========= ========= =====
*To Conclude:*

From Equation 2 and Equation 3
Men that don’t earn money = Women that don’t spend.

So, Men earn money not to let women become Donkeys! (Postulate 1)

And, Women spend not to let men become Donkeys! (Postulate 2)

So, we have?
Men + Women = Donkeys + earn money + Donkeys + spend money

Therefore from postulates 1 and 2, we can conclude, 

Man + Woman = 2
Donkeys that live happily together!



have a ‘donkery’ weekend….

 

A Wishful Thinking!

Gwen was one of those UGLY women, so she never had a boyfriend. So she went to a psychic for help.

Honey! – said the psychic. You will not have luck in love in this life. But after death, you will be a much desired woman and all men will fall at your feet.

Gwen left very happy and so excited, as she went over a bridge she thought: “The sooner I die, the sooner my next life begins”. She decided to jump off the bridge right away. But, incredibly Gwen didn’t die! She fell on the back of a truck full of bananas; she lost her senses and fainted. As soon as she recovered, still drowsy and not being able to see very well, and not knowing where she was, she started touching her surroundings.

Feeling all the bananas she mumbled with a huge smile on her face and said: “GENTLEMEN, PLEASE!,… ONE AT A TIME!”

source: http://robertfoo.blogspot.com/2009/09/wishful-thinking.html

 

Be specific in life

1 day, John met GOD

GOD

GOD saw that John was a nice guy. So he gave John 3 wishes.

John was very excited, so he wish that he got lots of money. As promised, GOD gave him lots of money.

GOD: ‘ So, what would be your 2nd wish?’

John: ‘ I want to go to the nicest place I can go.”

GOD: ‘ Ok, your wish is granted. Now, what would be your last wish?’

John: ‘ I want to be with the best woman in the world.’

mother theresa

GOD: ‘ Ok, here is Mother Teresa.’

John fainted.

GOD: ‘ Well, you seemed to be unhappy. Since you had been a good guy, I give you 1 more chance.’

John: ‘ Wow! That’s good! Ok, I want to impress woman! I want to have the longest penis in the world and I want it to touch the ground.’

GOD made his legs very short.

Be Specific in Life!

And again GOD saw John wasn’t really satisfied with all the wishes. So GOD decided to give him 1 more chance.

John: ‘ My wife is the same age as me now, can you make her become 30 years younger than me?’

GOD made John 30 years older.

 

ENJOY!




Tagged with:
 

Always let your Boss speak first!

boss

 

On Monday afternoon during lunch time, James and Mike was together with their Boss. They were walking along the streets to find something to eat until they saw a magical lamp on the road. So James picked up and magical lamp and began to rub it because it was quite dirty. To their dismay, a large Ginnie appeared out. ” Yes masters, I will now grant you each 1 wish”.

James was so excited to see the Ginnie offering him 1 wish. So he wished:’ I want to go to Bahamas for a holiday.”

So, the Ginnie granted his wish and James went to Bahamas.

Now, it is Mike’s turn to make a wish. He wish:’ I want to go for a holiday in the Hawaii!”, and off he goes to Hawaii.

Finally, it was their boss to make his wish. ” I wish them back to office after lunch hour.”

 

Be A Man Do the right thing!!

 

ENJOY!

 

How to make use of borrowed money

Two couples were playing poker one evening. Ah Fei accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed Bob’s wife, Sue wasn’t wearing any underwear under her dress! Shocked by this, Ah Fei upon trying to sit back up again, hit his head on the table and emerged red-faced.

Later, Ah Fei went to the kitchen to get some refreshments. Bob’s wife followed and asked, ‘Did you see anything that you like under there?’ Surprised by her boldness, Ah Fei admitted that, well indeed he did. She said, ‘Well, you can have it but it will cost you RM500.’

After taking a minute or two to assess the financial and moral costs of this offer, Ah Fei confirms that he is interested.

Sue told him that since her husband Bob worked Friday afternoons and Ah Fei didn’t, Ah Fei should be at her house around 2 pm Friday afternoon.

When Friday rolled around, Ah Fei showed up at Bob’s house at 2 pm sharp and after paying Sue the agreed sum of RM500 – they went to the bedroom and closed their transaction, as agreed. Ah Fei quickly dressed and left.

As usual, Bob came home from work at 6 pm and upon arriving, asked his wife: ‘Did Ah Fei come by the house this afternoon?’

With a lump in her throat Sue answered ‘Why yes, he did stop by for a few minutes this afternoon.’ Her heart nearly skipped a beat when her husband curtly asked, ‘And did he give you RM500?’

Sue, using her best poker face, replied, ‘Well, yes, in fact he did give me RM500.’

Bob, with a satisfied look on his face, surprised his wife by saying, ‘He came by the office this morning and borrowed RM500 from me. He promised he’d stop by our house this afternoon on his way home and pay me back.’

Any comment? Who is intelligent and who is smart out there?

 

Miss Malaysia

miss malaysia
One of the main reasons why in recent years the
Malaysian Government has always ensured that their
Miss Universe representative is of tertiary level English
education or higher is because of the following
incident which occurred not too many years ago.

It was the final round of the Miss Universe Pageant and
the 3 finalists, Miss USA, Miss Malaysia and Miss
Singapore were being asked 3 simple questions:

MC: The first question is name me an electrical
appliance starting with ‘L’
Miss USA : Lamp
Miss Singapore : Light bulb
Miss Malaysia : LADIO
Judge: No, no, Radio does not start with the letter
‘L’

MC: I am going to give you 3 more chances; Now, name
me an animal starting with the letter ‘L’
Miss USA : Lion
Miss Singapore : Leopard
Miss Malaysia : LABBIT
Judge: No, no, no!

MC: Your next chance. The name of a famous car that
starts with ‘L’
Miss USA: Lexus
Miss Singapore : Lamborghini
Miss Malaysia : Lolls-Loyce
Judge: Oh my God!

MC: I am going to give you one last chance! Name me a
fruit starting with the letter ‘L’
Miss USA : Lemon
Miss Singapore : Lychee
Miss Malaysia , with full of confidence, smiles and
says: LIEWLIAN!!

This is not the end of the story, the Judge consulted
the board of judges to determine if Miss Malaysia
should really be disqualified ; and they decided that
since Miss Malaysia was having so many problems with
the letter ‘L’, they decided to give her another
chance.

Judge: OK, the final question is : Name me a human
anatomy starting with the letter ‘L’
Miss USA : Lung (applause)
Miss Singapore : Liver (even more applause)
Miss Malaysia : LAN CIAU !

The Judges fainted..!!! ”

ENJOY!

 

Woman

“Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater.”
 
If you give her sperm, she’ll give you a baby.
 
If you give her a house, she’ll give you a home.
 
If you give her groceries, she’ll give you a meal.
 
If you give her a smile, she’ll give you her heart.
 
She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.
 
So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit.”

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1 line humour

[1] Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving. 

[2] Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee. 

[3] Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband! 

[4] I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried – but they wanted cash. 

[5] A child’s greatest period of growth is the month after you’ve purchased new school uniforms. 

[6] Don’t feel bad. A lot of people have no talent. 

[7] Don’t marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without, but whatever you do, you’ll regret it later. 

[8] You can’t buy love, but you pay heavily for it. 

[9] Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote. 

[10] Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired. 

[11] Marriage is give and take. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway.. 

[12] My wife and I always compromise. I admit I’m wrong and she agrees with me. 

[13] Those who can’t laugh at themselves leave the job to others. 

[14] Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner. 

[15] A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. 

[16] You’re getting old when you enjoy remembering things more than doing them. 

[17] It doesn’t matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss. 

[18] Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books. 

[19] Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you. 

[20] Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something 

[21] They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak! 

[22] Man: Is there any way for long life? 
       Dr: Get married. 
       Man: Will it help? 
       Dr: No, but then the thought of long life will never come. 

[23]  Why do couples hold hands during their wedding? It’s a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins! 

[24]  Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do? 
       Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes. 

[25]  It’s funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged. It’s like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered. 

[26]  There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it. 

[27]  There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbor has it!